This has been a week of ...I can't put my finger on the right word. This week I experienced my first earthquake while at work. Now to some, this may not seem like such a big thing. But I live on the east coast, (in Virginia) and have all my life. We don't get earthquakes. I can definitely say I'll always remember where I was and who I was with. It reminded me of 9/11 and I worried about how we would get out of the building if it came to that. However, it was not such a major thing as that. But working in a hospital, it is concerned an external disaster and we were on lock down-NOT fun! It made me realize that I really need to work harder to make my dream job come true. That I don't want to be told that I can't go home to my family. That I must stay there until someone else tells me I can go home. Was not feeling the love with that at all! I did end up leaving at my normal time but it still doesn't sit well with me.
The following day I went for a walk. I was determined not to hold others back. So I walked half of it alone and then went through a lot of emotions there as well. I felt pain in my lower back from the excess weight as well as in one of my ankles. Then I had a lot of negative thoughts going through my mind. A LOT of self doubt. But I pressed on despite that. I walked a total of 9 laps which was 2 1/4 miles. It was a heck of a lot more than what I had done recently. I was proud of myself that I finished but over all, I wasn't feeling real happy about where I am. I realize that I didn't gain the weight over night and I won't lose it over night. But I just became frustrated with where I am in relation to other people. Not that I was comparing my journey to theirs. It was more like I felt like I couldn't relate to people who weren't around my weight or who had lost as much as I need to. But the next night, a very good friend shined some light on some things for me. So maybe I need to take a different in my journey and go slower. I thought I was going slow but maybe not. While I was driving to work yesterday morning, I decided I would break things down into a few areas in my life. I need to make small changes in the way I eat, the way I exercise and the way I pray. Instead of adding this and that to my eating and exercising, I'm going to focus on changing ONE eating habit and ONE exercise habit so I can stay consistent! With praying and talking with God, I just want to add more time in my day. Right now I talk with God on my drive into work. I thank Him for waking me up and all the things He has blessed me with in my life. But I know I need to strive to do better with my spiritual side. While these are 3 different things all together, they will all need to be worked on CONSISTENTLY so that they become habit. One thing I'm not in these areas, is consistent. The number 3 is my favorite number. We have the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit-this is another 3! So while I know some people feel superstitious about things in 3's, I think this is a winning combination for me! Because I know how important God and religion are to me on my journey!
Right now we are in the middle of a tropical storm, a.k.a. Hurricane Irene. This event has shaped my life to be better prepared in my life and to enjoy my family now. Tomorrow is never promised to us. Tonight, I've felt a bit down which I don't like. I'm a bit depressed. But I also recognize that many of my food choices in the last 24 hours have contributed to it!
So tomorrow is Sunday and it's the start of a new week and the end of this month. The end of the week starts September and after the holiday weekend will be my baby girl starting kindergarten! YIKES....how did that happen? My daughter makes me smile and I know she makes me a better person. She makes me want to succeed on this journey. We were driving home one day when this song came on http://youtu.be/emgv-VRtMEU I treasure the moment of us singing it together. And so now I choose this as one of my songs for this journey going forward. Because with God and the support of family and friends, I KNOW I will continue to get STRONGER spiritually, physically and nutritionally! Significant positive changes are coming my way. Look out world....here I come!