This has been a week of ...I can't put my finger on the right word. This week I experienced my first earthquake while at work. Now to some, this may not seem like such a big thing. But I live on the east coast, (in Virginia) and have all my life. We don't get earthquakes. I can definitely say I'll always remember where I was and who I was with. It reminded me of 9/11 and I worried about how we would get out of the building if it came to that. However, it was not such a major thing as that. But working in a hospital, it is concerned an external disaster and we were on lock down-NOT fun! It made me realize that I really need to work harder to make my dream job come true. That I don't want to be told that I can't go home to my family. That I must stay there until someone else tells me I can go home. Was not feeling the love with that at all! I did end up leaving at my normal time but it still doesn't sit well with me.
The following day I went for a walk. I was determined not to hold others back. So I walked half of it alone and then went through a lot of emotions there as well. I felt pain in my lower back from the excess weight as well as in one of my ankles. Then I had a lot of negative thoughts going through my mind. A LOT of self doubt. But I pressed on despite that. I walked a total of 9 laps which was 2 1/4 miles. It was a heck of a lot more than what I had done recently. I was proud of myself that I finished but over all, I wasn't feeling real happy about where I am. I realize that I didn't gain the weight over night and I won't lose it over night. But I just became frustrated with where I am in relation to other people. Not that I was comparing my journey to theirs. It was more like I felt like I couldn't relate to people who weren't around my weight or who had lost as much as I need to. But the next night, a very good friend shined some light on some things for me. So maybe I need to take a different in my journey and go slower. I thought I was going slow but maybe not. While I was driving to work yesterday morning, I decided I would break things down into a few areas in my life. I need to make small changes in the way I eat, the way I exercise and the way I pray. Instead of adding this and that to my eating and exercising, I'm going to focus on changing ONE eating habit and ONE exercise habit so I can stay consistent! With praying and talking with God, I just want to add more time in my day. Right now I talk with God on my drive into work. I thank Him for waking me up and all the things He has blessed me with in my life. But I know I need to strive to do better with my spiritual side. While these are 3 different things all together, they will all need to be worked on CONSISTENTLY so that they become habit. One thing I'm not in these areas, is consistent. The number 3 is my favorite number. We have the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit-this is another 3! So while I know some people feel superstitious about things in 3's, I think this is a winning combination for me! Because I know how important God and religion are to me on my journey!
Right now we are in the middle of a tropical storm, a.k.a. Hurricane Irene. This event has shaped my life to be better prepared in my life and to enjoy my family now. Tomorrow is never promised to us. Tonight, I've felt a bit down which I don't like. I'm a bit depressed. But I also recognize that many of my food choices in the last 24 hours have contributed to it!
So tomorrow is Sunday and it's the start of a new week and the end of this month. The end of the week starts September and after the holiday weekend will be my baby girl starting kindergarten! YIKES....how did that happen? My daughter makes me smile and I know she makes me a better person. She makes me want to succeed on this journey. We were driving home one day when this song came on http://youtu.be/emgv-VRtMEU I treasure the moment of us singing it together. And so now I choose this as one of my songs for this journey going forward. Because with God and the support of family and friends, I KNOW I will continue to get STRONGER spiritually, physically and nutritionally! Significant positive changes are coming my way. Look out world....here I come!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
I said I was going to try and blog weekly with pictures but I have been remiss in that lately. I decided to do weekly pics, instead of daily. So this is a couple days after my 39th birthday.
7/31-Modeling a birthday outfit from Mom. Emma took this and when I first saw this picture a few weeks ago, I felt bigger than ever. However, looking at it now, I do see a difference in me. Maybe more confident? Can't quite put my finger on it!
8/2-Mom was kind enough to make this for me after a meeting and the night before we left for Baltimore Harbor. It was so so yummy. A steak, green beans and fresh strawberries!
For 2 weeks, starting on 7/25, I participated in a No Sugar Experiment. I was in the middle of the 2nd week when we went on our trip to Baltimore Harbor and saw these sugar hazard stores:
8/3-This was my dinner at Phillips and it was delicious! Now, yes I could have seafood but then I would've ordered Crab and Mac & Cheese. I saw this as the healthier option for me at the time! And man was I happy to have had it:)
8/4-On our last day, we took my daughter to the National Aquarium. We saw Dora & Diego in 4D and then we went and watched the dolphin show. Oh, how I ADORE dolphins! I don't want to bore you with all the pics, but here is one that I found just precious!
When we got back on the afternoon of 8/4, Emma and I received our FabFit bracelets. I have yet to take mine off. However, with Em being 5 1/2, she wears hers on her bicep...LOL..so she wears hers when we work out or if we are going somewhere! But we are 2 of the many Fab Fit family!
Last Friday I asked my husband to please chop off my hair. I needed to start fresh all over and I felt like my hair was keeping me hostage. 8/6-I took this pic before heading to an event.
I like the shorter hair but decided that:
1. I need to be wearing brighter makeup-i.e. lipsticks & eyeshadows-so I'm not referred to as "Sir".
2.This cut is Phase I in the making. I need to go ultra short so that I can workout with out having to worry about what my hair looks like when I'm done!
8/14-This picture Emma took before church, reinforced the need to go shorter! After church, Emma took it upon herself to pick out a work out DVD-the CareBears- and started warming up!
I SO love the positive effect my journey is having on my family. We are starting to make itty bitty changes, but nonetheless, they ARE changes! Pumping my fist up in the air! I only want the best for my family. I want the best for my friends but have discovered that some are not so interested. That's okay because this warrior is now on a mission!!
Two of the ladies from my Northern Virginia Spark group, a.k.a. NOVA Sparks,and myself decided we want to meet once a week at the local school to walk the track. So on 8/17, the Pink Lightening Divas (as we call ourselves) met up and did our thing at our paces! I'm so happy to have additional support on the home and exercise front. I'm also happy to support them as well. Also, the talk of our doing this, helped me to decide to do a 5K in December! WOOOHOO:)
Tonight I took a walk with my family. Well my husband & I walked and my daughter rode her bike.
After almost the 3rd lap, Emma stopped riding her bike and joined me in a little jog. At the end of that, we high fived.
Then we came home and took a few more shots:
I felt rather pensive and focused on my journey and then came this picture....I definitely was deep in thought!
Tonight I asked Hubby to please please finish my hair and let's get Phase II done. So I sat in the chair as he cut with butterflies in my stomach. All I could think about was the movie, GI Jane and Demi Moore shaving her hair off. That's what I wanted! I wanted to feel free. I wanted to shave off the past and start anew. I wanted to enjoy my work out and not have to wonder, "Is this messing up my hair??". So Hubby used one clip. I looked in the mirror and then told him, "Shorter!". So he picked another clip to use and went back to cutting. Then I felt my hair and again it felt long. I consulted the mirror after he'd finished and I said "Shorter! Think GI Jane short...I want to chop it all off!!!" He asked, "Are you sure?" Without missing a beat my response was, "YES!!!!" So he picked up a new clip. After a little bit I looked in the mirror and said "Hon, that's still not short enough!" I asked him, "What clip do you use for the back of your head? THAT'S THE ONE I WANT YOU TO USE!!" He said, "A one or a two." He then found a clip and proceeded to start again. I didn't say a word. When he finished I looked in the mirror and said, "PERFECT!!!" I quickly went and showered & shampooed. Here's the finished product.....
I think my Inner Warrior is making her way out! A long time ago, I did see myself as a warrior, but I was talking the talk but NOT walking the walk! I feel like this hair change is a big part of my transformation into weight loss mode. Don't get me wrong, I've been making significant changes the last month and a half. This just totally makes me feel liberated and free! I'm ready to keep going. I'm not looking back. I WILL DO THIS!