What Brought Me To This Point...

I have struggled with my weight since I was in college.  I have tried countless ways to lose weight...pills, Weight Watchers, hcg, hypnosis and even trying it my own way.  My daughter, Emma, was born in January 2006.  I remember driving home from the hospital and telling my husband that I didn't want to be an embarrassment to her.  My husband said, "You could never be an embarrassment to Emma."  But I know that kids can be mean.  It took me some time but I decided in November-right before Thanksgiving, to follow the South Beach diet.  I talked with God and told Him that I needed His help.  That I had tried this many times before without his help but it never seemed to work. I managed to lose about 19 lbs in about 2 months.

This picture was taken January 2007 at Emma's 1st birthday.  I knew that it was time to make a change for the better.  So, again I talked with God and asked for His help on this new journey.  Then, a few days later, with Emma in her stroller, I signed up at Weight Watchers (for the 3rd time). I quit drinking soda and went to straight water or Crystal Light and still to this day, have not drank another soda.  

I found lots of support going to my meetings at WW's especially with my WW leader.  I had lots of success too.  I lost 100lbs within 10 months.  However, when I did so, I deprived myself of food at times just so I would reach my goal to lose the 100lbs.  I lost a total of 120 lbs which brought me down to 240lbs.

I remember meeting up for the first time with some of my online Weight Watcher friends in December 2007.  We took a bunch of pics together-some while sitting at the restaurant.  When I looked at some of them, my chest was down to the table!  I decided that I needed to get some new bras.  So Lynn, one of my friends, said she'd love to go with me.  I had a giftcard to Lane Bryant so we walked on in.  One of the sales persons asked if we needed any help as we looked through the bras.  I said, "I think I need to be measured."  So she measured me and I waited thinking that my last purchased bra was 48DDD.  I heard the lady say 38 and for some reason thought she still needed to add in the cup size and that couldn't be my band size.  I had gotten to a size 38DD!!!  I remember asking the sales person if it was alright if I tried the bra on underneath the sweater I was wearing.  She asked me what size shirt I was wearing and I COULD NOT answer!  I had been wearing somewhat baggy tops and I wear scrubs at the hospital.  Turns out, she brought me 14/16, and it was LOOSE!  When I put the shirt on, I had a waist and fabulous one at that! I was just in shock.  That was the first time in my life that I'd worn a wireless bra and I was thrilled.  I want to get back to that size and even smaller!

It's always been hard for me to notice when I've gained weight and it was the same when I lost.  At the end of 2007 I had some personal family problems.  In the spring of 2008, the death of 2 loved ones within 2 weeks of each other and then I began eating to numb myself of pain. I would gain 20 lbs at weigh in and then 2 weeks later lose it.  I was up and down with my weight. I even lost 100 again but then started eating again...

Now it's close to 4 years after that time when I lost the weight and I'm somewhat close to the same starting weight I was back in 2007.  This time I have decided I'm going to do things differently.  I have a wonderful support system at home with my family and in cyberspace on Facebook & Sparkpeople.  I have joined a wonderful group on Facebook.  This past weekend, I met the leader of this wonderful group, Carolyn, who was visiting family from out of town.  This is a picture of Carolyn, Emma and I...

Meeting her really did some awesome things for me.  I got re-inspired after reading about her journey and meeting her in person.  It was definitely what I feel to be, a life changing event for me.  I've become more excited and focused about what I want out of life and my journey.  I talked with God and shared my plans with Him, asking for His help and guidance.  This time I am starting off slowly by adding in 1 freggie a day and exercising 10 minutes a day.  I will gradually add new things as I go along.  I want to take myself to heights and challenge myself more than I ever have.  But most of all, I want to live my life!  No more sitting on the sidelines because of my size!

I want to help others on their journey (I used to do this a lot and had stopped over time).  It's not always easy to do what it takes to get fit & healthy, but it's MOST DEFINITELY worth it in the long run!

My biggest why for doing this is right here...

I want to be able to see Emma do so many things in life.  I want to be able to run outside with her without huffing and puffing.  I want her to be proud of her  mother, not embarrassed.  But most importantly, I want to show her that you can finish what you start and you can be a strong woman.  I want to be a great example to her of what she CAN do, not what she CANNOT or SHOULD NOT!  I want Emma to know that she can do anything she sets her mind to-that the possibilities are endless!

And I want to share my transformation with others.  I want them to see that the possibilities ARE endless.  I hope that I'll be able to help at least one person and show them that they are worth it. And if they are struggling, I want them to know I have been there too! And if I can do it, they definitely can;)  You can accomplish great things on this journey when you have friends by your side!

I WILL DO THIS...We ALL will!  Life is short, play hard!!

Simone