I have struggled with my weight since I was in college. I have tried countless ways to lose weight...pills, Weight Watchers, hcg, hypnosis and even trying it my own way. My daughter, Emma, was born in January 2006. I remember driving home from the hospital and telling my husband that I didn't want to be an embarrassment to her. My husband said, "You could never be an embarrassment to Emma." But I know that kids can be mean. It took me some time but I decided in November-right before Thanksgiving, to follow the South Beach diet. I talked with God and told Him that I needed His help. That I had tried this many times before without his help but it never seemed to work. I managed to lose about 19 lbs in about 2 months.
This picture was taken January 2007 at Emma's 1st birthday. I knew that it was time to make a change for the better. So, again I talked with God and asked for His help on this new journey. Then, a few days later, with Emma in her stroller, I signed up at Weight Watchers (for the 3rd time). I quit drinking soda and went to straight water or Crystal Light and still to this day, have not drank another soda.
I found lots of support going to my meetings at WW's especially with my WW leader. I had lots of success too. I lost 100lbs within 10 months. However, when I did so, I deprived myself of food at times just so I would reach my goal to lose the 100lbs. I lost a total of 120 lbs which brought me down to 240lbs.
I remember meeting up for the first time with some of my online Weight Watcher friends in December 2007. We took a bunch of pics together-some while sitting at the restaurant. When I looked at some of them, my chest was down to the table! I decided that I needed to get some new bras. So Lynn, one of my friends, said she'd love to go with me. I had a giftcard to Lane Bryant so we walked on in. One of the sales persons asked if we needed any help as we looked through the bras. I said, "I think I need to be measured." So she measured me and I waited thinking that my last purchased bra was 48DDD. I heard the lady say 38 and for some reason thought she still needed to add in the cup size and that couldn't be my band size. I had gotten to a size 38DD!!! I remember asking the sales person if it was alright if I tried the bra on underneath the sweater I was wearing. She asked me what size shirt I was wearing and I COULD NOT answer! I had been wearing somewhat baggy tops and I wear scrubs at the hospital. Turns out, she brought me 14/16, and it was LOOSE! When I put the shirt on, I had a waist and fabulous one at that! I was just in shock. That was the first time in my life that I'd worn a wireless bra and I was thrilled. I want to get back to that size and even smaller!
It's always been hard for me to notice when I've gained weight and it was the same when I lost. At the end of 2007 I had some personal family problems. In the spring of 2008, the death of 2 loved ones within 2 weeks of each other and then I began eating to numb myself of pain. I would gain 20 lbs at weigh in and then 2 weeks later lose it. I was up and down with my weight. I even lost 100 again but then started eating again...
Now it's close to 4 years after that time when I lost the weight and I'm somewhat close to the same starting weight I was back in 2007. This time I have decided I'm going to do things differently. I have a wonderful support system at home with my family and in cyberspace on Facebook & Sparkpeople. I have joined a wonderful group on Facebook. This past weekend, I met the leader of this wonderful group, Carolyn, who was visiting family from out of town. This is a picture of Carolyn, Emma and I...
Meeting her really did some awesome things for me. I got re-inspired after reading about her journey and meeting her in person. It was definitely what I feel to be, a life changing event for me. I've become more excited and focused about what I want out of life and my journey. I talked with God and shared my plans with Him, asking for His help and guidance. This time I am starting off slowly by adding in 1 freggie a day and exercising 10 minutes a day. I will gradually add new things as I go along. I want to take myself to heights and challenge myself more than I ever have. But most of all, I want to live my life! No more sitting on the sidelines because of my size!
I want to help others on their journey (I used to do this a lot and had stopped over time). It's not always easy to do what it takes to get fit & healthy, but it's MOST DEFINITELY worth it in the long run!
My biggest why for doing this is right here...
I want to be able to see Emma do so many things in life. I want to be able to run outside with her without huffing and puffing. I want her to be proud of her mother, not embarrassed. But most importantly, I want to show her that you can finish what you start and you can be a strong woman. I want to be a great example to her of what she CAN do, not what she CANNOT or SHOULD NOT! I want Emma to know that she can do anything she sets her mind to-that the possibilities are endless!
And I want to share my transformation with others. I want them to see that the possibilities ARE endless. I hope that I'll be able to help at least one person and show them that they are worth it. And if they are struggling, I want them to know I have been there too! And if I can do it, they definitely can;) You can accomplish great things on this journey when you have friends by your side!
I WILL DO THIS...We ALL will! Life is short, play hard!!